Finding Hope and Meaning With Cancer

Once people accept that they have cancer and get into a new routine with treatment, they often feel a sense of hope. There are many reasons to feel hopeful. Millions of people who have had cancer are alive today. And people with cancer can lead active lives, even during treatment.

Some doctors think that hope may help your body deal with cancer, and scientists are studying whether a hopeful outlook helps people feel better. Whatever the research shows, hope can be a comfort and a source of strength as you move through your days.

Hope is not something you either have or you do not. You can nurture it in small, everyday ways. You might try to:

• Plan your days and schedule as you always have. It may change somewhat, and that is okay.
• Keep doing what you love as much as you are able, without limiting yourself more than you need to.
• Look for reasons to have hope. If it helps, write them down or talk about them with others.
• Spend time in nature.
• Reflect on your religious or spiritual beliefs.
• Listen to stories about people with cancer who are leading active lives.

Some people see their cancer as a "wake-up call." They realize the importance of enjoying the little things in life. They go places they have never been, finish projects they set aside, spend more time with friends and family, or mend broken relationships.

It may be hard at first, but try to look for the joy in your life. Pay attention to the things you do each day that make you smile. They can be as simple as drinking a good cup of coffee, being with a child, or talking to a friend.

You can also do things that feel special to you, like being in nature or praying in a place that has meaning for you. Or it could be playing a game you love or cooking a good meal. Whatever you choose, embrace the things that bring you joy when you can.

Living with cancer involves many changes, and finding meaning is part of adjusting. People who adjust well often continue to find meaning and importance in their lives.

Many survivors say that surviving cancer gave them a greater appreciation for life, a better understanding of what is most important to them, and stronger spiritual or religious beliefs. This does not mean the experience is easy. It simply means that meaning and even growth can come alongside the hard parts.

Hope does not always come on command, and that is okay. You do not have to try to be upbeat if you are not. Many people say they want the freedom to give in to their feelings sometimes. As one woman put it, when it gets really bad, she tells her family she is having a bad cancer day and goes to rest.

If feelings of hopelessness last or feel heavy, talk with your doctor, because there are ways they can help. The section at the end of this page sets out when to reach for help right away.

You do not have to find hope and meaning alone. Sharing your feelings with friends and family may help you feel less alone. Talking with other people who have cancer, or joining a support group in person or online, helps many people. And many survivors find that their faith, religion, or sense of spirituality is a steady source of strength.

• Call 911 or go to an emergency department if you are thinking about ending your life and feel you might act on it, or you have already harmed yourself. You can also call, text, or chat 988 for the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, which answers day and night.
• Call your care team the same day if hopelessness has turned into a wish not to wake up, or you have started giving away things that matter to you.
• Call your care team within a day or two if the flat, joyless feeling has not lifted for a couple of weeks, or you have stopped eating, sleeping, or seeing the people you usually see.

Source: NIMH — Suicide Prevention.