When should we call a priest for a dying relative?

Earlier than most families do. A priest usually arrives too late for one reason: nobody wanted to be the person who said it was time.

The Ethical and Religious Directives are the norms governing Catholic health care in the United States. They say that all Catholics capable of receiving Communion should receive Viaticum when they are in danger of death, "while still in full possession of their faculties." Viaticum requires the person to be able to receive Communion, and anointing normally comes before it. So waiting for certainty tends to mean waiting too long.

Calling early costs nothing. Anointing can be repeated, and a priest who comes and finds the person stable will not be annoyed. A visit that turns out to be premature is a visit that reassured a frightened person.

Two practical steps. On a calm day, ask the hospital for the after-hours number for a Catholic priest, and write it down in more than one place. If the person moves to a hospice or goes home, ask again, because the answer changes.

If you cannot reach anyone through the hospital, call the nearest parish directly at night. That is entirely normal and expected.

Sources

• National Cancer Institute — Last Days of Life (PDQ) Patient Version
• National Cancer Institute — Spirituality in Cancer Care (PDQ) Patient Version
• USCCB — Ethical and Religious Directives for Catholic Health Care Services, Seventh Edition